Written Thoughts · December 6, 2022

A True Connection

So.. learning a language or system is a matter of choice, whether you wanna communicate with this person or entity (who speaks that language) or not.

Let’s say you meet a human for the first time, something has to drive you to want to communicate with them, whether it’s a need or a curiosity, you have to communicate it, and you have to choose a language, a system of patterns, that you both recognize, to use as a medium..

If you both don’t speak the same tongue you could do it through physical queues, or through “memes” or references that you both understand.

But how will you know what the other person knows? Guesses? Assumptions? Stereotyping?

That’s a system of processing that you develop on your own to understand your surroundings (to think that a person who looks like that must know that language, or understand these things)

Or you could just probe..

Just ask a question using whatever language comes to your mind, and if they respond then they speak this language..

but sometimes that doesn’t work because even if that person speaks the same language as you, they could be so dependent on “the context” as a language on its own.

So if you surprise them with a question they weren’t expecting they wouldn’t even hear it, because maybe they’re expecting a question about the weather or something and you’re talking about aliens!

In some instances, I’ve spoken English to English speakers and they don’t pick up at first because “I don’t look like someone from an English-speaking country” and they’d stare at me trying to comprehend or put together the sounds that came from my mouth and try to guess which language it’s from (I don’t have any sort of accent, it’s just that I’m “so out of context” as some people would put it)

Anyway.. During early development years, we learn the language of our environment out of necessity, to request things we need, and on a higher level, to share our experiences or thoughts and feelings.

And we don’t stop doing that as adults.

We learn systems and protocols.

Social dynamics.

All of these are patterns.


Some, we learn passively, by just observing, analyzing, and processing.

So we can use the knowledge we gain to find the resources we need.

To navigate the chaos.

So “communication” isn’t really necessary if you’re a good observer and collector of knowledge and already know how to fend for yourself.

Except if you have “social needs”.

Like the need to belong to a group or external validation.

Then you must learn the language of the people who, you’re sure, can give you those needs.

But what if it’s not about “needs”?

What if one’s only need is to share their experience?

A need for “expression”?

Then I don’t think anything would drive them to “learn” how to communicate with a certain, already established, language.

But they would develop their own language instead.

Because they’re more concerned with accurately expressing what’s inside their mind than “who’s receiving it”.

And this language could be anything!

Patterns, sound, visual, physical, or a mix of many.

And if someone else is able to understand it

To learn it

Out of curiosity

Or just because they got drawn to its energy

Then that’s a true connection.

A true connection doesn’t require both parties to be already familiar with a common system or language.

Of course, if they are, things would be much easier between them.

But a true connection means the desire to understand each other.

A very deep curiosity about another person

That makes you want to learn everything about them.

And how their brain is wired.

You’d pick up a completely new language because your need for communication is strong.